Overture 1928

I'm over another extremely empty day. Every day appears to me so eternal. I begin to suspect that I'm in a kind of reality show and it's only me who isn't aware of this. Like Jim Carrey in the Truman show movie. I can't believe that my only job is to sit all over the day and watch my monitor with an expressionless, sleepy look on my face. I have been a wage-earner for almost a year now and I have done virtually nothing so far (because I was ghostly in a similiar situation at my previous job). It's unbelievable. Somehow nobody is interested in the fact that I'm the only one who does nothing at this company. However, I can frequently see others browsing the Internet but at least they have things to do besides. I'm not joking, I went out to the toilet to sleep for half an hour in the afternoon and it wasn't the first case. Officially the only thing I have to do is to read because I was given some documentations about a software I'm allegedly going to use but nothing useful appears to me by them. (the program itself hasn't been installed onto my computer yet)
Curiously enough, this is very exhausting because another task of mine is to fight heavy battles against myself to avoid falling asleep and by the end of the days, I feel very tired and I feel up to doing nothing. I'm fed up with feeling myself utterly unnecessary all the time.
I have a feeling that I will be sacked tomorrow because we're just at the end of this month and my colleague, who I started with in March, was told to go just at the end of a month. It would be a perfect timing by them. But it seems I would be almost satisfied with this decision...
Today, on my way home, I met my acquaintances again in the underpass at the Western Square, who offer fifty thousand forints in return of something. But I didn't listen them through even though I have decided to get to know their idea because this time, I was asked by three gipsies and I don't like them in general because they don't understand the meaning of the word: no. If you let them talking, you won't be able to interrupt them easily. Maybe next time. I'm disposed to talk with only one person about this thing. I don't like when I'm surrounded. Nevertheless, I gained some information about the method of making this money because one of them mentioned that the point at issue was buying a phone. (or a phone card? I'm not sure.) Very interesting.
Yesterday morning I rang my future music teacher to finalize the time of the first appointment. So, the historical event occurs at ten a.m., on Sunday. I will have to bring my instrument even to the first lesson. I was surprised because I believed we would start with theoretical issues of music. He also told me to buy a sheet music exercise book and a pick. I went out to the Westend City Center (a shopping centre within only two minutes of walking) in the lunch break to accomplish his terms. There were several types of picks available and the flexibility made the difference between them. I didn't know which one is good for me so I bought four ones for three hundred forints each. They look fine in different colours. I believe they are UV fluorescent, I like them. I felt very joyful while I was managing these.
19

I forgot to upload a photo of the wedding cake, which was an important component of the day. You can have a look at it below. Every level was a different kind. My favourite was the cake at the lowest level, the largest one. It was filled with Russian cream.
Today I read here that someone has made a bet in a value of four point five billion dollars on a catastrophic crash of the market before 21st of September. A same strangeness in a European relation here. Last it happened before 9/11. At that time, someone placed a huge bet against the airline companies. It's very odd indeed. Is a serious act of terrorism going to take place again? Or will Iran be attacked soon? Iran's military technology is rapidly being improved; they have developed a new precision bomb for fighter jets that can destroy enemy political and economical targets without coming into the range of enemy fire. It was announced on Sunday.
Today I faced up to a terribly inconvenient situation. The number of the employees at my workplace has raised significantly in the last two months and now that everybody has returned from holiday, the director decided to ask the newbies for introducing themselves. And even though, I have been working here for half a year, I had to do so, too. It was a hell for me. Speaking in front of fifty people... it has never happened to me before and it was catastrophic. My voice was trembling. It wouldn't have been too much problem if I hadn't been asked to speak louder. And in this way, it was clearly unambiguous that I had cold feet. These performances had been happening in a relaxed atmosphere and when I was in the spotlight, well... it was like somebody had turned out the lights at night. That silence... But it didn't lasted for long and all of a sudden, I recognized it was over, everything was going on like nothing had happened.
I may exaggerate the situation a little but I felt inside in this way. As I didn't have anything to do again, I was brooding on this all morning.
I have manoeuvred myself into a hopeless situation. I chose a trade that I don't like at all. It's not my world. And it's a team game, you have to cooperate closely with others. Moreover, a typical informatician should have a character that has absolutely nothing to do with mine. They're always chatting and giggling. I can't switch my trade easily because I spent almost seven years on learning and now I have to give a sense for that. I must spend at least one year at this company because of financial reasons.
I always had to learn hard because I was expected to do so. In the primary school, kids could specialize in Maths at the age of ten. And when I mentioned at home that I didn't want to choose that class, my grandmother made faces. So I changed my mind. I believed that it would be a shame to attend school in an ordinary class. I remember there was a mathematics competition series in the fourth class of the junior section and the winners' names were written on large posters in the classroom. Four competitions were organized in the fields of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. As I remember, I was once the runner-up and achieved a third place. The first democratic parlamentary election was organized in our classroom in 1990 and it was remarked by my parents or my grandmother that they couldn't read my name among the winners. (all competitions were won by one pupil whose family and mine knew each other) However, I won the fifth game (there were six altogether) but the election was over by that time so it didn't really matter. And it was the same attitude at the time when I continued my education after the primary school. I couldn't have chosen a mediocre high school. But I don't want to put all responsibility on my grandmother and partly on my parents. Because I was very happy when I was admitted to a top-class high school of my city. And I was even happier when I was admitted to the college, which was my decision already. I knew people at that time who were going on higher education and it was a question of self-respect for me to follow them.
I earned all of these achievements with a little luck and I could complete them hardly. And now I should be keeping on improving myself continuously but I don't want to make any further effort for this career. I could do it, I would be able to do it but I'm tired. I would rather be occupied with an activity I could perform conveniently. For the very reason that I don't want to make anything with my life.
In the afternoon, the colleague, who I have talked about already, asked for my assistance again. I have been working for him since last Wednesday. These works mean four hours of activity per day at the very most. But it was enough to make my melancholy disappear in the afternoon because I could do again what I was asked for.
And now I'm in quite high spirits because I didn't feel the heat so unbearable on my way home. A light wind was blowing and I wasn't hot at all. And the weather forecast is favourable at long last, a cold front arrives in the middle of this week ending this ugly weather for a long while. Maybe once and for all this year.
22

The video about my sister's marriage has been finished. It's a professional work stretching on two dvds. The cover of the dvd box and the surface of the disks are mounted by photographs taken in the photographer's studio and at outdoor scenes. The menu system of the dvd is very familiar, too. When you put in a disc, some photos from the couples' life appear in chronological order on the screen accompanied by emotional music. Good work, I like it.
The photos have also been received, I link some of the two thousands (!) shots.
[the newly weds]
[after the civil wedding ceremony]
[we march towards the altar]
[ceremony starts]
[some of the wedding guests]
[over the turtles and fishes]
[the first dinner]
[wedding guest having dinner, too]
[the first dance]
[party time]
[wedding cake]
[the kidnapped woman has returned]
[party slowly comes to an end]

In exactly one week's time, I'll be taking my first guitar lesson. My future teacher is roughly the same age as me and he started learning music six years ago. He's a very professional and skilled musician; he takes music very seriously. I think, he has pledged himself to this activity for a lifetime. Here is a video showing his abilities. I don't think I will ever be nearly as good as he is now but it's not my goal, anyway. I just want to learn using my instrument for my sake, only, as a hobby. It seems the lessons will take place on every Sunday, which is very good because I won't have to carry my guitar to my workplace. But I worry a bit because if I want some result from these lessons, I will have to practice every day. He mentioned this fact at our first phone conversation already. I hope this hobby and my devotion to English will force me to give up the only harmful habit of mine: surfing on the Internet all the time. Even though I very sorry the time I waste on this activity, I don't do anything else. I feel ashamed because I haven't prepared anything for my next English lesson at this weekend. Although I had two weeks to prepare, I will attend only one week's amount of preparation on Friday. My only excuse is the weather. It extremely sucks my vitality. And at last night, a party was going on nearby and I had to close the window as I couldn't sleep because of the music. I awoke in the middle of the night because I was sweating. I immediately opened the window and fortunately, the party was over already thus I could rest.

I have a little problem with blogging. I'm not so intelligent that I could write every day. That's why I haven't written for three days. I have run out of my thoughts.
Reading back the lines of this post, I feel them boring and meaningless.
I'm going to ease the disappointment by publishing a pleasant train of thoughts, which is not mine. Here it goes.

I read today that the people, who were born before the eighties, are actually real heroes. Hollywood daredevil types who survive everything. I'm serious.
Think about that the ones, who were born before 1980, that's to say WE, have survived miraculously. We didn't have a car seat, nor a seat belt but at the same time, we surely knew that the paint, which our cots were covered with, contained a plentiful amount of lead. The medicine bottles and vials were easy to open and weren't supplied with any protection and not even the drawers and doors had any safety opener. And when we were riding our bicycles, we didn't wear elbow guards and helmet.
We drank water from the tap and we didn't know what the mineral water exactly means. On my part, for instance, I used to confuse it with the soda water. I believed they are the same. Both of them sparkled my mouth. Nothing made a difference between them, so why use a private word for it.
We weren't too bored, we went out to play when we could. Yes, out. We were out all days and our parents could only suspect that we were alive and fine because the telephone wasn't common, not to mention the mobile phone.
We used to play in the waist-deep grass and the forests nearby and we still didn't catch spots on our skin and still weren't provoked by allergic attacks. We didn't know what the pollen is and we used to believe that the ragweed is a lineal descent of the dragonhead (a type of weed (Dracocephalum ruyschiana)).
When we fell, fractured a limb of us or simply smashed our head, nobody was sued. Quite simply we were to blame. Moreover, when the stronger beat up the weaker because he was bored, it was ok. It worked in this way and not even our parents had a word to say.
Our meals contained a multiple of the lethal dose on the scale of Norbi Schubert (a Hungarian fitness guru) but even an american overweight kid would be knocked out by the food we used to consume. Think about the bread and dripping (fat spread on bread), the sausage, the brawm (only God knows what ingredients it was made of), the canteen at the school (only God knows what ingredients it was NOT made of) and we're still here. The cocoa didn't contain vitamins of A, B, C, D and E, but it was called "bedeko" and it was enough to make us happy. We used to drink Szobi beverage, which had nothing to do with sweeteners but was made of concentrated sugar. Lemonade was mixed by ourselves and we used to eat the unwashed and often unripe fruits straight from the trees. Thousand colonies of bacteria lay peacefully behind the edge of the toilet in the pre-Domestos age.

Some friends of us knew people who had a video casette player or a Spectrum (which was some kind of computer) but nobody talked about Playstation, Nintendo, X-Box, video game, sixty-four tv channels, satellite and cable tv, movies, DVDs, Surround Sound, Internet, fitness tickets or mobile phones. We lag behind a little; I admit I have borrowed my favourite movie on DVD three times already but I haven't been able to play on my player yet. It always begins to speak in Polish. I watch it for a quarter of an hour and then I rather bring it back.
On the other hand, we had friends. People, who we met on the street, on the football pitch or at the table-tennis table. When we didn't, we simply rang for admission and they let us in. We didn't have to ask the parents. Neither ours nor theirs. We weren't brought and taken by the parents. And we're still here.

When we went playing, the key of the house was hanging on our necks and we used to fight with wood sticks, threw each other with balls and we're still here. We didn't prick others' eyes out and other wounds would heal up. Only those played football, who could. We used to have an unwritten law, which is hard to understand today even by us, that do only what you are competent in. And those, who weren't skilled in football and couldn't even kick others' ankles, could only watch the game beyond the grid, disappointed. Or he could make off and look for another game with another partners.

We didn't learn love from Brazil soap operas, we simply lived it through. After the first kiss, we happily run along the street and it seemed we wouldn't stop anymore. We didn't need porn movies and sex papers for love-making and we didn't need a hotel, too. We did it when and where we were able to and if we screwed up something we took the consequences and had a new try. When a teacher slapped us in the face, we didn't sue nor stab a knife into him and we didn't cry for our parents. In fact, we didn't tell them. We knew the law and if we sinned, our parent's wouldn't defend us. We were learnt to live in a way that we knew what the obligation, guilty conscience, decency, responsibility meant. We knew the depths of these words. They were us.

Heroes?

Maybe.

Heroes of an ancient age, which the youngsters of today can only uncomprehendingly smile at.

Mr Summer should really go now.
I was always very happy when after 20th of August, a cold front arrived like a scheduled flight. Even though it meant the outset of a school term.
At punctually this time of almost every year, a cold front breaks up the power of the summer. I have always remembered this day as the beginning of the fall and the end of my misery caused by the monotonous heat and unslept nights. I don't particularly like this season because I always feel the need for a bath. Always. Whenever I'm on my way somewhere and the sun is blazing down and I feel little drops of sweat flowing down all on my body, a large bath filled with cold water looms in my mind. On such occasions, I desperately try to repress the starting avalanche of my memories about bygone chill autumns I was in real love with. About former infinite winters when the glistening snow was mildly crunching under my sole. When every nook and cranny of the Nature was endowed with mysterious, enigmatical significance. And silence. Cleanness and peacefulness.
I'm in deep concerns because this performance of the Nature was entirely cancelled last year and now the summer is still raging around. Unhappily enough, more and more worrying articles and reports are published about the weather.

"But those days are gone now
Changed like a leaf on a tree
Blown away forever
Into the cool autumn breeze

The snow has now fallen
And my sun's not so bright
I struggle to hold on
With the last of my might"

I hope we'll be witnessing cool miracles once again.

P.s.: However, James LaBrie sang about in a completely different context, I'm fascinated with the elementary force of the music as it evokes different atmospheres in the first and second acts of the twenty-three minutes long "A Change of Seasons", called "The Crimson Sunrise", an instrumental masterpiece, and "Innocence" I quoted from. The other five are also very impressive.

I'm very disappointed and sad because I missed my English lesson this week, which would have been yesterday evening. It has turned out that I was informed about the time on Friday by an sms. My phone was in a web of my trousers, which was hanging in a wardrobe all weekend. I took it out only on Saturday and I remember I found its battery flat. But I still can't understand how I could have missed her message because her phone showed that the sms arrived.
I felt my English teacher's voice angry and nervous because she was waiting for me and I didn't come. And she had called me four times already and had also written an sms asking where I had been when I called her back. I can only hope that she doesn't think I deliberately caused this trouble. Because she remarked that I could have told her that I wouldn't come because then someone else could have taken a foreign language lesson. But we fixed another appointment so it raises hope.
My phone is very ill, it doesn't ring. It's very old, I bought it in 2002. I have another phone, a Nokia 3650 I was given in 2004 as a present when I quitted my job but that device has developed a fault as well. I can hear the caller at a very low volume. This is a bigger problem that's why I use my older phone, which is a 3310. I have to keep it at myself all the time to feel when it vibrates. But sometimes I forget about it like yesterday, unfortunately. In September, I'm going to buy a new one, it'll be a 5500.
I'm very angry with myself because it should have been suspicious for me that we had agreed about Tuesday as the day of the next meeting but I rather believed it had been postponed.
Today, I write a little about the eating place where the employees of my workplace have their lunches. It's a relatively small restaurant that reminds me the canteen of my high school I used to visit in my childhood. Standing in the queue usually lasts for about five or ten minutes. Then you find yourself in front of the counter. Its side is covered by glass. Beyond it, there are a lot of bowls in which the different courses are kept warm. There is quite a wide choice. When you're close enough to the guys behind the counter, they ask you what you want to have. You have to speak loudly because the ambient noise is strong. If you ask for something that has to be fried in hot oil, you have to wait a little. But there is a rack along the counter and after you have pushed your tray through, your fried food is usually done. At this time, you're at the cashier. We don't have to pay because our employer covers the costs up to a reasonable value. There are a lot of squarish tables for four people but six and even eight people can sit down around a few other tables. Today, I had lunch with some of my colleagues at such a large table. I prefer eating alone but sometimes, I can't avoid having meal with others. I ordered pasta poured with sour cream and milk curds. I have had this dish for the third time in one week. Maybe I like it indeed. Unfortunately it isn't sprinkled but mixed with cracklings here. I ordered mushrooms fried in breadcrumbs as well. I think it's a pleasant combination but when I wanted to tell the cashier what I had ordered (because it wasn't on my tray as the mushrooms were still frying) he said he knew what I had chosen because it was only me who ate things like this. They know me because sometimes I make really unusual selections. For instance, sometimes I have empty macaroni and mushroom or cauliflowers fried in breadcrumbs. Sometimes I choose a dish of peas (peas with thickened milk or sauce; there is no English word for it) with cheese fried in breadcrumbs. They used to laugh at me (not offensively) but they have got used to it.
One of my colleagues also wondered at my plate and he didn't understand how these things could be brought together. And I wondered why he was wondering.
I have caught cold or something. I have a sore throat but fortunately, I don't cough. I feel my head heavy and I have blown my nose a million times today.
A funny lamentation comes to my mind: "I have told you a million times not to exaggerate."

This link goes for the post, which is followed by the story of my holiday. I mixed up the order of the frequencies but I have drawn the right sequence.

Holiday - Thursday

This Thursday was different than other usual Thursdays because I knew, at the end of the day, I'll be going to Hajdúszoboszló (henceforth: HSZ) the scene of my holiday this year. Despite of this fact, the working hours slipped away fast.
I achieved a real sense of achievement today because a colleague of mine, the one who interviewed me in February when I was aspiring to this job, asked for my assistance. It wasn't a kind of tasks we do usually. I helped him in his own work. He had a large text file with information hard to make use of. I wrote a simple Perl script that mined important parts of that file and put them to their place in another file. I finished in one and a half hours. At the end of the day, he came to me and told me he would reckon with my further assistance on the next day. I replied with regret that I would be on holiday at that time. He didn't mind. "Then on Thursday" he said. It was an unpleasant situation as I had to make him disappointed again by letting him know that I won't be in the office on Tuesday, neither, while some employees were guffawing and it was a bit embarassing. "Then on Wednesday". Deal. But he smiled so I don't think it was a big problem.
I got to know only today that my brother-in-law's parents also paricipate in this program. So we are six. But not yet.
Unfortunately, my brother-in-law couldn't take holiday for Friday due to an important deadline at his workplace so he and my sister will join us tomorrow.
I travelled with my mother and my brother-in-law's parents. I packed up yesterday so that we could set out at once when I finished work and arrived at home. I got off the train and they fetched me at the station. On our way here, we lost our way because we didn't see the sign post showing Füzesabony so we went further on the motorway. But finally, it turned out that we were better of with our alternative route. Although we drove slightly more kilometres, we arrived earlier than we had expected. So, we lost our way but found a much better. Later, I realized the reason. We used to come here leaving the motorway at Füzesabony. But since then, it has been built to Nyíregyháza but we didn't consider this fact, we were just going to follow our customary route. But this route we found is much better, because it's faster and it isn't longer so much at all.
When we arrived, we unpacked and had dinner at the restaurant of our boarding house. By the way, we are on half-board so we have to care for lunches only. But in any case, we're going to stay at the baths complex all day as I know, so it doesn't matter. We'll find food there, at the buffets.
We were served quite large portions, so my stomach is overloaded almost in such a degree as it was on the day, when my sister was married. First, I had fish-soup with two fillets of fish, then pasta, poured with sour cream and milk curds and sprinkled with cracklings that I pushed aside because I don't eat meat if I don't have to. My dessert was a piece of melon.
Our accomodation is great. We're living in apartmans. Each one includes an air-conditioned room with two beds, a TV with satisfying amount of channels, a private bathroom and a little hall with a fridge. The boarding house is quite big, it has more than thirty apartmans and a large dining hall where our breakfasts are going to be served. I have written about the separated restaurant already that belongs to this ensemble and it is open not only for the guests of the boarding house, but for the public, as well.

Holiday - Friday

In the morning when I woke up, I didn't feel myself relaxated. I had woken up several times turing the night and dreamt many absurd and ridiculous stories. Maybe because my stomach had been full. I've recognized already that in such a situation, I always dream odd things. At this time, a terribly large and sensitive birthmark appeared on my sole. I was visiting doctors and hospitals all night, and nobody could help me. Meanwhile, this knob was continuously growing and I was frightened because I couldn't get rid of the thought that my foot would have to be amputated. When I awoke, I immediately started to examine my sole but luckily, it was normal.
Later on, we went down to the dining hall, where the breakfast was served on Swedish table. It was very rich. Some guests were already eating there. I had two rolls with butter, green pepper, which was actually yellow, and cheese. I made sandwiches of them. I drank ice tea. The others ate other. Fried, boiled and scrambled eggs, cold cuts, fried sausages and honey were chosen by them as I remember.
Then we went to the baths complex. As I forecasted, my mother and the old couple threw themselves into the thermal baths. I stayed with them for a while, then I set out to have a look at the aqua park. I had to walk through the whole complex. The open air swimming pool was very seductive for me but I decided not to jump into it because the rays of the sun poured on me with an elementary force. Because of the same reasons, I didn't buy a ticket to the spectacular and enermous slides of the aqua park. I rather returned to the indoor thermal baths and soaked myself with the others. Although my walk lasted for maybe half an hour and it was only half past ten, the sun burnt my skin a bit on my neck and around my nose. At around midday, we looked for a sympathetic pub and ordered lunch. We weren't so hungry; I only had pasta with sour cream and milk curds - just like yesterday evening. But instead of cracklings, it was sprinkled with dill. Afterwards, I got bored with the crowd and the heavy sunshine, and returned to our accomodation. The others stayed there all afternoon and returned only at around five pm.
I'm afraid my bathing habits have changed. Previously, I adored being in water but now, I don't find it so interesting that I could spend a whole day with this activity. And I don't like overcrowded places. I enjoyed myself in the morning but the place then began to become cram-full so much in the afternoon that I had to escape. I prefer long, solitary, sometimes psychedelic walks in a forest much more.
I have made a decision. I'll spend only half days in the pools. It'll be just enough for me.
My sister and her husband arrived at half past nine so we had dinner late again.
By the way, the old couple and my sister and her husband (= the young couple) are going to go out tomorrow because they are invited to a wedding ceremony they couldn't refuse. They're going to come back late night. It'll be organized in Gyöngyös, very far from here. We had dinner in a good mood. My order included fried potatoes in prism forms (= French fries) with fried mushrooms and some vegetables were on my plate in addition.

Holiday - Saturday

I can't write any interesting about this day. We got up, went down to have breakfast, chose various bits from the Swedish table, which was very rich again. This time, I ate two rolls with butter, cheese and cranberry jam, which is my favourite kind of marmalades. I thought about having stewed fruits as well but it would have been only a short, temporary enjoyment and it would have been followed by long stomach agony. Maybe next time.
As I wrote yesterday, the main part of our company attended a wedding ceremony and party. My mother spent the day in the baths complex while I stayed at our accomodation and intended to prepare for my next English lesson.
But first, I immediately felt asleep, although I hadn't slept less previously. After I got up, I was swoting words for a while, then I went out without any concretized imagination about my destination. I only knew I wanted something to eat, however, I wasn't actually hungry, and wanted to look around and maybe to spend money to get some entertainment. But I found nothing else but only walking humans and a vast amount of stall holders, who were selling fits and starts, odds and ends, what have you. None of them excited me so much to give money for. And it was f_ckin' hot. So, I bought two packs of chips and two ice teas and fled home to our air-conditioned room. I tried to spend the afternoon with learning but I couldn't concentrate on. I always found myself meditating on things. I tried to watch the BBC World as well, but it was very hard to understand anything because I couldn't use my headset. I slept a little in the afternoon, too.
My behaviour is similar to a marmot in these days because I was dozing all afternoon. Why am I so capable for sleeping? I spent much more time in my bed today than on my feet. But I don't mind, it's very relaxing and convenient.
I could become very lazy. I think, I have a hidden inclination to iddleness. It wouldn't be hard to switch to such a life-style.
In the evening, I had dinner with my mother. I had cauliflowers fried in breadcrumbs with potato croquette. Moreover, I ordered mashed Spanish chestnut with whipped cream. Then we put ourselves to the next day.

Holiday - Sunday

Today was the first day we spent all together. However, it began late because the young and the old couple arrived at home only at dawn, at around three o'clock. Brrr. They slept almost until ten and they get up at that time only because breakfast is available between seven and ten am. Then we went to our warm water filled pools. The young couple could experience them for the first time. Not too lucky holiday for them. We spent six consecutive hours in the water. Then we went home because we didn't want to eat so late. They are killing us. We are given so large portions that we can hardly stand up at the end of the meals. And it's not good to cram our stomaches just before going to bed. After the dinner (which was our lunch at the same time), they went out to look around but I preferred a little siesta more so I stayed at home just like my brother-in-law's mother, who was also tired. Now, I'm in my room and writing these lines.

Holiday - Monday

Yesterday evening, we gathered in my sister's room for a little chat. We also decided what to do today. My mother went to the baths complex, the others went to Debrecen and I stayed here. I learnt additional words in a park. We met again at half past one, licked some ice-cream and travelled home. Here, we were invited to strudels that the old couple bought in HSZ just before leaving. Then they went home to Bp. Our pets were very happy to see us, they were fed with delicious food. I'm home again.

I respect the Bible very much but it's only a book collection, which was written by people and reedited many times by people. I know and Laszlo stresses that it was written under divine influence. But every drawn conclusion of him is a guess, which are all, however, very solid and sophisticated. I'm curious about his opinion but not on this vast scale. We have been studying the last book of the Bible, the Revelation of Christ to John, for four months and we're still somewhere at the beginning.
People have been guessing what the whole perceived ensemble around is, since they can think about it. And many imaginations were born throughout the history. I think these doctrines were all true in certain points of view and helped people interpreting the world and living their life. The Bible and Christianity is a language among many others. A language that was "spoken" several thousand years ago for the first time but it's still a device we can use and it works if we have belief in it.
I think belief is a crucial component. The power of belief can make mountains move.
Belief emerges from indirect experiences. Almost everything we consider as evident is a kind of belief. It's a belief that the Earth is spherical as well as the existence of time is also a belief because our experiences prove them. But there are other kinds of belief. Like our history, for instance. Virtually we don't know anything about it. We found some bones in the bowels of the Earth and our scientists guessed a plausible and logical explanation: the evolution. I think the tale of the scientologists about some aliens with their proton-fuelled spaceships isn't less believable at all than that once upon a time, two molecules joined together incidentally in the abyss billion years ago, triggering a chain reaction that have resulted in what we can see now.
I'd rather proceed from the few experiences and conclusions of my own. One thing is sure, we're existing. You, the reader, me, the blogger and others, as well. I don't know it but I feel it. I perceive it. What I perceive may not be complete. I can perceive only what my senses allow me. The world may have many other segments. Bulls don't perceive colours and aren't aware of them although they're existing attributes of the world.
I'm an observer somewhere and I'm acting. This is the only thing I'm sure of. Everything else are speculations, suggestions and belief. Like these thoughts.
Our world builds up in a fractal way. What we found in the microcosm can be found in the macrocosm. And everything is nothing more but a vibrancy on different frequencies. If we divide material, the result will be some molecules. If we divide them further, we'll find that they are built up by particles. And so on until we can see nothing else but waves, vibrating on very high levels (quantum physics). At the lowest level of vibrancy, we can find the realm of the sounds. We can perceive the sounds vibrating with a frequency between sixteen and twenty-thousand per second. Stepping up the vibrancy, we arrive at the colours. We can find the cold colours at the lowest levels in their realm, and going higher, blue turns into red. And so on towards the realms of the matter and then the light. And I'm sure, the light is not the end of the road. Maybe we make up something on a much larger scale. It's something like the musical octaves. Everything is vibrating like a string on a guitar. I think God's playing a universal instrument, that's why we are here.
I think we are still being born. It doesn't matter our body grows old. It's a rule of this game. We sleep every day and this is what separates one day from another. If our life was one long run, we would go crazy. Like one day follows another, our lives behave in the same manner because we couldn't bear with events of so many years.
Last week, I asked Laszlo about reincarnation but he definitely denied it.

I really don't understand what's happening. I felt inconvenient at my last job because I couldn't do anything there. I had to attend meetings where discussions took place about a software that was being developed for a bank. But I couldn't contribute with anything to these intellectual masturbations. I couldn't do anything but listening to and wondering at how much time those guys wasted on completely meaningless issues. And it's almost the same situation again at my present workplace. But fortunately, I could have mentioned the word: almost. Because from March to the middle of July, I was working really hard. I don't go into details on this period because this is my homework for the next English lesson but I'm going to copy things here from it, which will have been written in Hajdúszoboszló. The main point is that I don't have anything to do currently. For example, I did absolutely nothing today. We have written the verifying scripts that work now quite well, so there's nothing to do about this project. And I don't understand what I am supposed to do. Yesterday, I sidled up to my boss and offered my assistance for anything but he asked me to check the documents we'll deliver at the end of this month -- but this is what I have been doing for two months now! Nevertheless, I'm calm because he must be aware of the situation from now on. So I don't care. I don't, because the term of my probation has just expired, anyway.
The only comforting thing is that many other colleagues do nothing important as I can see. But then I don't understand why they were hired recently. Because a lot of newbie arrived in the last few weeks but as I can see, they're only reading documentations and talking with others.
I presume that the reason is the summertime. A lot of employee both in Hungary and abroad are still on holiday and things will start again maybe in the fall. But it's very inconvenient and boring to pretend working all the time. I don't want to surf on the Internet continuously because nobody does that.
When I was looking for my platform in the Western Railway Station on my way home, someone asked me if I wanted to earn fifty thousand Forints. I refused the possibility because the fellow didn't inspire confidence at all. And it wasn't the first case. I have been asked the same question for a dozen or even more times and exactly at that place. (it was always someone else at each time) On the next occurence, I will surely hear their idea through because I'm curious how I could make that money if I wanted to.
I'm pleasantly surprised. Not a long time ago, I intended to travel to Hatvan but we were just experiencing the strongest heatwave ever and the trains were late for hours due to overhead wire problems. Finally, I couldn't make the trip because I wouldn't have caught the last bus to my home. But I had bought the tickets already and when I wanted to refund them, the booking clerk were going to make a charge for administrative costs. I felt the procedure injustice and told her my story but she could only suggest the complaints book as an option. Although it was a matter of five hundred Forints only, I felt this so outrageous that I felt it was worth making an attempt and on the next day, I noted down the event. Dodging the fares is not a custom of mine, I'm a honest passanger and still I'm fined... At the information bureau, they were very understanding and said I had been right. And now, I have just received a polite letter from the director of MÁV Start himself, and got coupons in a value of six hundreds Forints.

It's Sunday evening again. Tomorrow, a new week begins with new challanges. Fortunately, I will be working for four days only because on Thursday evening, we'll be heading to Hajdúszoboszló, a town with a large baths complex and an aqua park. We haven't tried the aqua park yet because the baths complex entirely fulfills our needs. But I'm thinking about buying a ticket to that. There are many huge slides in various shapes over there and it's very enticing. But the baths complex is great as well. There are a vast amount of open air and indoor baths with hot, moderate and cold waters. There are a large pool where large waves induced in every hours. It's very funny. My mother prefers the pools filled with hot mineral water. Whenever we visit this town, she always sits in one of them. On the last day of our vacation, we'll be able to see the Flower Carneval in Debrecen, which is organized on 20th of August, in every year. My mother will surely leave it out because she enjoys sitting in the hot water much more than to watch some carts covered with flowers.
And probably I'll follow her behaviour but I will rather read a book or so. They are indeed artistic works but it will be enough for me, if I watch them on the TV. I like Hajdószoboszló but, to be honest, I prefer natural beaches much more. The most awesome experience of mine on this field was Szováta, which can be found in Romania now. Szováta had been an old Hungarian town for a thousand years but Romania got it together with a hundred thousand square kilometres of our land after the first world war. A salty lake (Lake Bear) lies there surrounded with beautiful mountains. It's impossible to sink and therefore to drown or suffocate because the water is so salty that it keeps the bathers floating on the surface. 1 2
I didn't write yesterday that I have decided to adopt another activity besides learning a foreign language. I have been dreaming about playing an instrument all my life. And one morning (on Friday), I realized that it's only up to me. Why not begin it now? And I looked for a teacher on the Internet and in September, I will start my career as a guitarist. I think, this will be the the other main interest of mine besides the linguistics because if I want to do them seriously, there will be no time for other devotions.
I bought my guitar in 2003 and learnt some chords but then I put it away. Now that I'm a wage-earner, I can set about realizing my old dream. I feel like I must be engaged in an artistic activity. And music seems an ideal choice to me.

Maybe you will be surprised after you will have read this because you won't understand the relation between the title and the content of this post. Well, no wonder, there isn't any connection. It was just too hard to find out a title so I have decided to choose my favourite English words as titles from now on.
After I had finished the first post of my blog, I couldn't fall asleep for hours. Finally I slept only two hours. So when my alarm clock woke me up at half past five, I was frightened. It seemed impossible to get up, do my business in the bathroom, get dressed and set out to the railway station. But somehow I managed it although I felt the lack of relaxation all day. When I arrived at the office, I found nobody there. It was half past seven so it's no wonder. Five minutes later, one of my colleagues entered and he was also worn-out. He told me he received a new locomotive and he had to try it. I could have looked at him strangely because he went on talking and it turned out that his hobby is building model railways. He told me he has got a two meters long and two meters wide table. He has been building it for two years. I found out that modelling is not just a game. Or, to be more precise, it's a very considerable activity.
I built railways too, in my childhood but I simply put the rails on the ground and saw the trains travelling forwards and backwards. Whenever I finished playing, I had to dismantle the set and put the parts into their box.
But he takes it seriously. He planned a complex system to control the traffic and keeps improving the whole set. And the buildings, the flora and even the stones on the ground are also his own works. He made a website dedicated to his railway so I saw pictures as well. He kept speaking for half an hour.
In the evening, I went to my kinesiologist for studying the Bible, however, I was very tired. By that time, I was awaken for more than fourty hours with only two hours of sleep. But somehow I survived and finally, I could go bed at midnight.
The next day, (that's to say, today) I got up at eleven. When I told my colleague, who I was talking about a few lines before, that once I had another colleague, who used to sleep four hours a day, he said it's not a problem. The really problem is experienced when after such a period, a normal time is spent on sleeping. And I could see he was right. Although I made up the sleeping hours I had missed yesterday, I felt like a zombie throughout the day. But now, I have returned to the normal state. I went jogging at seven p.m. and I'm going to jog every weekend. Two occasion a week is a big step towards a healthy life.
I couldn't study English due to my awkward condition, however, I had intended. Never mind, I will do everything tomorrow.